Ow.

Share the Wealth

If you are in genuine pain or discomfort and those around you refuse to believe you on any kind of you're such a drama queen grounds, you are being abused.

This Will Be Fun Interesting

Originally published at Ruthanne Reid. You can comment here or there.

I lost a mentor today.

Dr. Samuel Hsu was a brilliant musician, a keen humorist, and the best history teacher I’ve ever had.

He understood that learning isn’t all about disconnected facts.

He knew how to illuminate the connections between things, from musical styles to psychological fads.

Dr. Hsu, looking playful

His humor was silly but irresistible. (He’d say something absurd, like, “What do you call hamburgers at the beach? Sandy Patty!” Then he’d laugh, quietly and endearingly, and in spite of all reason, you’d laugh with him.)

His patience was legendary. I know I wasn’t the only student to have an emotional breakdown of some kind during lessons, reaching critical mass via the magic of music and life changes.

He was a not-so-secret matchmaker, and delighted by young love the way small children are delighted with exotic animals – not for him, but fascinating to watch.

He was one of the most brilliant musicians I’ve ever know, drawing delicate sounds from the piano as if it coaxing it to sing with human voice.

He was my friend.

( Read more... )

Originally published at Ruthanne Reid. You can comment here or there.

I am so happy about this.

Originally published at Ruthanne Reid. You can comment here or there.

This meal went SO WELL. Oh, oh, oh yummmmmm. Dear husband has an onion allergy, so we were determined to make this feast onion-free and full of flavor.

We succeeded. Husband is brilliant. So is housemate-slash-artist Celine from purpletophat.com.

Time for the gallery. Enjoy!

[Show as slideshow]

Originally published at Ruthanne Reid. You can comment here or there.

I am making my own stuffing this year! Mostly! Okay, we bought the croutons, but we’re going to do this otherwise from scratch so as to avoid certain things my husband happens to be allergic to. Also, I feel quite successfully domestic.

In the meantime, as a treat, have a wonderful recipe for southern-style biscuits!

Southern Biscuits Recipe Ahoy!

Makes:

About 10-12 Biscuits

Ingredients:

Instructions:

1. Preheat oven to 450.
2. Combine flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt, mixing thoroughly.
3. Using your fingers, rub the CHILLED butter and shortening into the dry ingredients until the mixture looks like crumbs. Do it quickly so it doesn’t get melty and greasy.
4. Make a well in the center, then pour in the buttermilk.
5. Stir JUST UNTIL the dough comes together. Don’t over-mix it – it is NOT supposed to be solid or smooth, but clumpy and sticky.
6. Put flour down on a flat surface, then put the dough on top of it. Sprinkle flour heavily on top and start to knead it in. If you’re doing it right, the amount of flour you sprinkle makes it possible to fold the dough over without getting it stuck on your hands too badly. I fold it over on itself about four-six times.
7. Remember, it won’t be smooth dough. The unevenness is what makes it flaky!
8. Roll it out with your rolling pin to about an inch’s thickness.
9. Cut out circles with a cup, place on cookie sheet.
10. Grind pepper over the tops!

And you’re done. Bake for about 10 minutes, or until the tops are slightly golden. These biscuits rise BEAUTIFULLY, and they have a wonderful flavor. Enjoy!

So guess what I learned this week?

That I could attend and work at two comic book conventions (all for the lovely Celine Chapus of PurpleTopHat.com), write from 1700-4000 words a day, and realize my mind is already made up about The Sundered.

So what is The Sundered? It’s about a young, bitter man who chooses between saving humanity from extinction – or saving the species humanity enslaves. It’s a dark book, and one that tends to make beta readers scream. It’s also nearly unpublishable.

I should rephrase that carefully.

Here’s the feedback I have had consistently for the past two years: Oh, the characters are great. Oh, the world is fantastic.  Oh, this plot is wonderful. Oh, we can’t publish it because it’s a unique idea and nobody is buying those right now thanks to the economy.

So this week was an interesting one for me.

The web design business is going well, and I love my clients. But you see, something important is happening. My husband’s job is finally bringing in enough to pull us out of the black hole of foreclosure. All by itself. We actually have a little savings, and all our bills are paid. So that led to this conversation.

Me: “You know, I’m really just afraid of being willing to write full-time. I’m afraid it won’t work, that I’ll never get picked up, that I’ll try my hardest and fail.”

Duane: “I know.”

Me: *glances at him* “You’re not telling me to keep my feet on the ground.”

Duane: “I think you should write full-time.”

Me: *eeping sounds*

We talked about it. A lot.

It’s a scary thing to jump into something as a full-time job when it doesn’t bring in any money. Sure, someday it might, but right now? Nada. And I’ll be spending most of my days on it.

But it feels right.

Am I crazy? Maybe. Depends on how you look at it.

1. I don’t need it for income. Husband’s job is taking care of that, so we won’t starve if I don’t get published.

2. Husband WANTS ME TO. I’ve been married to him for more than five years now, and he still continually baffles me with this mad persistence of support. He supports me. He believes in me. He wants me to follow my dream – and he fully believes that dream will be come reality.

3. So. What reason do I have… not to do it?

That’s the kicker. I don’t. The only thing I have against me here is fear.

Fear is Tricky Business

Fear of what? Of failure, of rejection? Here’s a funny story that helps to answer that.

I read a blog post by an author a little while ago that first irritated the hell out of me – and then (as things that make one angry often do) it woke me up.

The author was brave enough to admit they (notice my gender-neutral pronoun) were scared spitless. Not over failure. Not over lack of publication. After all, this author already had THREE best-selling books, and one of the best agents in the business. This author actually had publishers going to AUCTION for their stuff.

This author, it should be noted, never even had an agent rejection. The talent there is so extreme (and it is amazing talent) that they got their dream agent on the first try.

So. Never rejected. Successfully published. Fan-people all over the world.

And this author was afraid.

Afraid. Afraid that they wouldn’t come up with new ideas, afraid that they wouldn’t be able to keep up the momentum, afraid that the time to fly was over.

I admit it. I was pissed.

Yes, it’s jealousy. Here I am, struggling to get the attention of the publishing community, as so many fellow writers are. I don’t have an agent. I have hundreds of rejections. I’m not quitting. I’m not giving up – I have something I think people will really want to read. But getting through that door isn’t easy for me, and that’s okay. As I have to wait by the gatekeepers, I’m learning more about my craft, learning from fantastic writers who’ve gone before me, and getting better and better.

From my point of view, this author’s fears seemed utterly ridiculous – and then I woke up.

From my point of view. When so many authors I know would give ANYTHING to be able to write full-time. To not have to worry about putting food on the plate via words on the page. To have a spouse who supported them half as much as I do.

Fear is relative to where we are in life.

So what am I afraid of?

Nebulous bullshit.

No, seriously. “Failure?” What the hell is failure? Quitting? Well, I’m not going to quit, so… I guess that’s out. Bad reviews? Meh, everybody gets those. Not being published traditionally, or having to go some odd route? That happens. It’s real life, and it doesn’t kill you. Maybe finding people don’t enjoy my writing as much as I hope? Ah, but I have beta readers who are very trustworthy – who are not, in fact, personal friends of mine (at least at the time I gave them stuff to read), and I got REACTIONS. They howled. Screamed. One of them threw pages across the room.

They’re still talking about the book I gave them more than a year ago, and it’s been revised and is better now.

So I know people will enjoy this. When the time comes, they will.

So.

What. Am I. Afraid of.

Nothing.

I am doing this, world. I am going to write full-time, not letting a day pass without putting words on the page. Nebulous fear is there, and will continue to haunt me, but it’s just fear. It’s not an actual brick wall. I can get past this.

I will get past this.

Massive Life Change, get ready. Here I come.

Originally published at Ruthanne Reid. Please leave any comments there.